The truth about being self-employed

If you have been scrolling through your favorite social media platform lately (read: Instagram) you may have notice this huge amount of business coaches popping here and there and pieces of advices on « how to be a multi-million dollar self-employed badass woman ».

Nothing against multi-million-dollar self-employed badass women.

Actually, thank you for existing because you inspire us to believe that:

1) It’s possible.

2) You don’t need to be a man anymore to be rich and successful on your own.

Thank you also for your presence and your voice, because you’re also showing me what I aspire to and what I certainly do not want in my life.

In both cases, muchas gracias, amigas.

The thing that I find slightly slippery with these accounts popping everywhere is that it’s sending a message that constricts people into thinking that being self-employed = getting richer.

It feels like the message right now is: « What are you waiting for? Be self-employed! Life will be way more simpler and richer. Why do you want to work for someone else? Create your own schedule and rhythm. Create your dream life! »

Well... I have a news flash for you.

Being self-employed is not simpler and definitely not smoother.

Actually, it’s god damn hard.

Don’t get me wrong. I L-O-V-E working for myself.

I wouldn’t see myself working for anyone else. I adore the freedom, the challenges, and the constant seasonal questions and identity crises (ughhhhh ok maybe not that last point so much). I love growing and discovering new possibilities within my own business. It feed my wilderness and my creativity.

I should also add that I have a slight problem with authority, so working for someone else never really worked out well for me... If you see what I mean.

I have this amazing dear Projector friend who quit her job a year ago because she was inspired by people around her who made their passion a living and started to work on their own.

She hopped onto the self-employed boat and started to navigate new oceans and seas. The thing with navigating these oceans solo is that you need to be quite well attuned to your own radar and know how to navigate when storms hit the horizon. And when a storm hits your boat on your self-employed journey, trust me, you are alone.

You are alone with your deepest fears, your self-limited beliefs creeping out from the back, and with an unimaginable amount of questions that will be left unanswered for some time.

Like any self-employed person, she went through some storms. But instead of trusting her own radar, she started to compare herself to the unlimited amount of content available online, telling her « You made the right choice, you are now free!"

Free from what she would say? Free from stress and sorrow?

She did many business coaching, mentoring courses. She had a support group for self-employed women. She threw money like confetti into business courses and kept on working for herself for more than a year.

When I asked her, "How are you? How do you feel?”

She would reply, "Yeah mate, it’s hard you know, but I think that’s what supports my energy the best. I know it’s the path to what I want to do. I’m a projector, so I’m meant to work for myself, right? »

I wanted to say something like “Drop this human design crap and stop thinking that you are a-one-energy-type of woman! You don’t need to be a solo rider if you’re a projector or any other energy type or whatever you know…» but sometimes, it’s best to zip your mouth and just be a tender ear.

After some time, she came back to me in tears. She told me she had accepted a part-time job. Putting her solo project on the back burner for a moment.

I said: « That’s fantastic, mate! This part-time job will give you the safety your body needs in order to expand in your solo project in your own time and rhythm. No rush."

Her tears shifted from sorrow to relief in a second.

You see, the thing with my friend and with so many people is that they fell into the "dreamy-instagram-image" of what reality of being an entrepreneur could possibly look like.

Being self-employed is great.

If you truly desire it. If you love the challenges and if you’re okay with the unknown, if you know your shitty patterns.

 Being employed by someone is great too.

Not everyone is meant to work for themselves. And thank god!

We need many different people in this world to work with. We need cross-pollination.

We need all the colors of employment for the show to go on.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of seeing these business diktats on social media telling people how they’re supposed to run their lives and how to make one million dollar a day.

There isn’t one specific business recipe for success because there is no other person like you.

Work should feel like play, and you can play in your own company or for someone else.

There are no rules for playing. There are no rules to follow for personal fulfillment.

And if you read the contrary somewhere, run away.